All I Wanted to Know About Myself, I Learned from My Shrink
By Totel de Jesus
If you’re among the millions of psychologically imbalanced individuals-- those loudly talking to themselves, laughing when there’s nothing funny, preferring to be alone in the bedroon for weeks watching endless reruns of Scorpio Nights 1 and 2, devising a well laid-out plan to kill your rowdy neighbors, your boss and yourself-- but still in denial and roaming like a normal yuppie on the streets of Metro Manila, it’s time to visit Dr. Randy Misael Dellosa of The InnerLife Wellness Center.
His face may be familiar to seemingly normal people. Once in a while, you may chance upon him on sensible TV talk shows. He runs 3 centers: Life Change Counseling Center for those who seek to resolve personal issues; The InnerLife Wellness Center for those interested in holistic health and body-mind integration, and Life Change Recover Center for psychiatric and drug-related cases.
He has 20 years of experience in counseling and psychotherapy. He once worked for th Veterans Memorial medical Center and Makati Medical Center. Here’s an excerpt of a recent informal “consultation.”
What are the most difficult cases you've handled so far?
I’ve handled thousands of psychiatric patients, drug dependents and other types of clients, but the most challenging ones are those who deny that they have a problem, despite the obvious distress or harm they inflict on themselves or others. These clients are commonly diagnosed as having “personality disorders.”
Is it true that in Metro Manila , 70 percent of the residents have pspychological problems? What are these?
I don’t have statistics on the psychological problems of the city, but I can cite the common life problems for which people consult me. For instance, many come to see me because they struggle against anger, anxiety and panic, stress and burnout, guilt and doubts, loneliness and depression, low self-esteem, and other such concerns. Others see me because they have relationship problems, self-defeating attitudes, or behavioral problems.
On the other hand, some have no problems at all but they simply want to discover their authentic self, reinvent themselves, or redesign their lives.
How do you distance yourself from patients with the most hopeless cases?
I am always very aware of my professional role, the goals that I have to accomplish, my personal strengths, and also my weaknesses as well as my limitations. Whenever I encounter a difficult person to work with, I have no grandiose plans to change him or her. Instead, I try to understand the problem from his or her perspective and then help the person attain the goals he/she wants for himself/herself.
Is there such a case as being hopeless?
As a life coach and psychotherapist, my task is to instill a sense of hope and inspiration to everyone who consults me. While not everyone can be cured of their illnesses or be free from problems, there is always the hope that life can be better and more meaningful.
Sometimes, a problematic person is considered “hopeless” because he denies that there is a problem or else, he refuses to change his ways. In this case, rather than focus on the problematic person, I focus on the person’s relatives and loved ones and teach them how to deal or relate with such a person.
Tell us more about your approach. Do you prescribe oral medicines?
My approach to helping people is both holistic and life-transforming. I am “holistic” in the sense that I help people experience growth and healing in the different aspects of their personality-- body, mind, emotions, spirit, and relationships. My approach is life-transformaing because I help people overcome their emotional and psychological baggages so that they can attain their fullest human potential.
My approach is also shaped by the fact that I am a life coach, psychotherapist, psychologist, physician, and psychiatrist. I am thus able to integrate all my learning, skills, and clinical experiences to help peole in a deeper, more effective and competent way.
I employ varied psychotherapeutic methods like art therapy, hypnotherapy, drama and movement therapy, dream analysis, body-mind integration exercises, touch therapy, play therapy, and primal scream therapy, among others.
I still prescribe medications whenever necessary. However, unlike many psychiatrists who are simply trigger-happy in prescribing medicines, I spend time in listening and understanding the problems of my clients, offering them guidance and inspiration as I accompany them in their life journey.
Do you have tips to share in maintaining a psychological well-adjusted life?
Deal with the emotional baggages from your past. Discover your authentic self. Live passionately in the present. Live according to your values. Count your blessings. Forgive those who’ve hurt you. Let go of whatever hinders you from living a full, joyful, and meaningful life. Deepen your relationship with God.
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